As I did walk by Hampstead Fair I came upon Mother Goose,
So I turned her loose as she was screaming.
And a foreign student said to me:
"Was it really true there are elephants and lions too in Piccadilly Circus?"
Walked down by the bathing pond to try and catch some sun.
Saw at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing into Handkerchiefs as one.
I don't believe they knew I was a schoolboy.

And a bearded lady said to me,
"If you start your raving and your misbehaving, you'll be sorry."
Then the chicken-fancier came to play,
With his long red beard and his sister's weird: she drives a lorry (Hun...).
Laughed down by the putting green I popped 'em in their holes.
Four and twenty labourers were labouring, digging up their gold.
I don't believe they knew I was Long John Silver.

Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds
In his jet-black mac which he won't give back: stole it from a snowman.
As I did walk by Hampstead Fair,
I came upon Mother Goose, so I turned her loose as she was screaming.
Walked down by the bathing pond to try and catch some sun.
Must have been at least a hundred schoolgirls sobbing into handkerchiefs as one.
I don't believe they knew I was a schoolboy.

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